Friday, November 21, 2008

Here it is again RIVALRY baby!

I must say since I work in yewt country that I take a lot of ribbing through the years. On the other hand I have had a huge smile on my face for the past two years as we have beat the dreaded team up north and in dramatic fashion.
We will be watching the game tomorrow at the house and all are invited for cheering, food and fun. I just hope we come out on top again victorious!
I thought with it being the rivalry week that I would post some of my favorite yewt jokes for your enjoyment. Here they are (the last one is my favorite):
DEGREE TO GO - The engineer who graduated from Utah State asks, "How does that work?''

The engineer who graduated from BYU asks, "How can I make that work better?''

The engineer who graduated from the U. of U. asks, "Would you like fries with that?''
______________________________________________________________________________
Q. How many U. of U. graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Answer unknown. Still searching for a U. of U. graduate with the qualifications to do such a task.
______________________________________________________________________________
Q. How do you tell the difference between a BYU coed and a U. of U. coed?

A. The BYU coed is looking for a husband. The U. coed is looking for the father.
______________________________________________________________________________
The son of a very rich Arab sheik was graduating from college. The sheik went to his son's roommate and told him, ``I really appreciate all the help you have given my son while you two were in school. Just name a gift, and I will buy it for you.''

The roommate thinks about it and tells the sheik, ``Ever since I was a little kid, I've always wanted a real Mickey Mouse outfit.''

So the sheik bought him the University of Utah.
____________________________________________________________________________
Q: Why are a tornado and a Ute divorce similar?

A: You know someone is going to lose a house trailer!
____________________________________________________________________________
A fire gutted the U. library the other day causing $6.95 worth of damage . . . It could have been worse but someone had the coloring book checked out.
____________________________________________________________________________
A U. of U. grad decides he wants to raise chickens. So he goes to the feed store, buys a bunch of baby chicks, plants 'em feet-first in the ground, and sadly after a couple days they die.

He figures he's doing something wrong, so he goes back to the feed store and buys more chicks. This time he plants 'em headfirst, and they die even faster.

Now this U. of U. grad is at his wit's end, so he decides to write to his alma mater, tell them what he's doing, and see if maybe they have any suggestions.

Two weeks later he gets a note back from the university asking for a soil sample.
____________________________________________________________________________
Two BYU Cougars and one Utah Ute were all in prison awaiting execution by firing squad.

One Cougar said, ``When we each go to be executed, just shout a warning like a disaster is about to happen. When it catches them off guard, we can escape.''

The first Cougar went to be executed. The guard said, ``Ready. Aim..'' The Cougar yelled out ``Hurricane!!'' When the firing squad hid, he climbed the wall and escaped.

The second Cougar stood before the squad and when the time came, he yelled ``Earthquake!!'' He likewise escaped.

The Ute stood before the firing squad. The guard said, ``Ready, Aim..'' Just then the Ute yelled, ``FIRE!!''
____________________________________________________________________________
Q: What do you call a Ute in a three-piece suit?

A: The defendant.
____________________________________________________________________________
Q: What's the difference between the Utes and a dollar bill?

A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
____________________________________________________________________________
Q: Why did the U. decide to put artificial turf in the stadium?

A: To keep the cheerleaders from grazing
____________________________________________________________________________
The Best One of All!!!!!
Kyle Whittingham, clearly upset about the blue dynasty to the south getting all the national acclaim, goes to a BYU practice and asks Bronco Mendenhall, ``Coach, how is it that year after year after year you manage to have such great football teams? What's your secret?''

Bronco responds by calling Max Hall over. ``Max,'' Bronco asks, ``who's your father's brother's nephew?'' Hall answers, ``Why, coach, that's easy. It's me.''

Bronco turns to Whittingham and says, ``That's the secret, Kyle. A smart quarterback. You've got to have a smart quarterback.'' Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Whittingham returns to the Ute work-out. He promptly calls over Brian Johnson.

"Johnson! Who's your father's brother's nephew?''

Johnson looks perplexed, thinks a minute and says, ``Coach, can I get back to you after practice on that one?'' Whittingham (disgusted) says, ``OK.''

During practice, Johnson calls over Matt Asiata.

"Matt, coach just asked me the weirdest question. Who's your father's brother's nephew?'' Says Asiata: ``Duh! That's easy. It's me!''

After practice, Johnson catches up with Whittingham: ``Coach, I think I've got it. My father's brother's nephew is Matt Asiata?.''

Whittingham (angry): ``No, No, NO! You idiot!! It's Max Hall!!!''

__________________________________________________________________________

GO COUGS!

BYU 28
u of u 24